Salar Jahedi writes a column today advising parents to beat their children.

Why? Because they cry! And it irritates him! Him, Mr. Salar Jahedi, who must not be annoyed when he stands in line for Safeway! Beat the shit out those kiddies. Fuck 'em up good. Remember the old poem: if you don't hit your toddler, you're just a lousy coddler.

Then right after he writes about

Or the fear I felt in a car ride home when my father once said, "Remind me to beat your rump as soon as we get in," and the terror when he actually took off his 45-inch belt and ordered me to take down my pants.

he concludes

But I learned fast. And so did my siblings. No, I couldn't always have that candy bar or stay up late, and my parents would let me know it.

Children today are way too spoiled. After spending a long hard day at work, the last thing a parent wants to hear when they get home is their whining child. Especially if the kid is bugging them to shell out a couple hundred hard-earned dollars for the newest brand video game system and such.

Good thing Salar is around to debunk all those child-care 'experts,' with their 'scientific studies' and 'years of training in childcare programs.' Pay no attention! Mr. Jahedi is the only true expert. Why? Because he was beaten as a child.



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