Jesse Gabriel has the dubious distinction of being the ASUC Politician in recent memory with the most mentions in the Heuristic Squelch. (Mentions under his own name, at least.) All of these are from the Small Text under the staff box.

May, 2001: 'We should've taken that guy's $20. All we had to do as print a line that says 'Jesse Gabriel is one of the best places to have sex on campus.' Cha-Ching! Pay up, dude. What a sad little bastard.'

September 2001: ' Jesse Gabriel still owes us $20. If we were him we sure wouldn't want an outstanding debt to such an influential publication.'

October 2001: 'Apparently now that Jesse Gabriel's paid us, we're supposed to say he's a man of his word. So he is, but good grief, do the demands ever stop with this arrogant bastard? I'm a man of my word too. My word is 'muster.' But I don't expect that to impress people.'

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