Rescued from the depths of time... Bret Heilig's February 23rd, 2001 submission to the Heuristic Squelch.

ASUC What-they-say vs. What-they-mean
By Bret Heilig

Action Speaks Louder Than Words
I favor a military solution over a diplomatic one

This is offensive
Sweet minority voters, how brightly thy faces shine under yonder moon...

We are so close to reversing the ban on Affirmative Action
Please give me $10,000

We expect this project to have a major impact on students' lives
I want my own office

I second the motion
Does that count as partisan outreach?

APPLE
All the non-stupid party names were taken by Chris Gray.

Why do you think you are qualified to be the Elections Chair?
Clearly, you are retarded

The Judicial Council is usurping the Senate
I have a friend who is a political science major

Your proposal is interesting
I will vote against your proposal with every fiber of my being

I abstain
No one has told me how to vote yet

You should run for office
With another party

It is the other party that is responsible for the gridlock
I have completely lost touch with reality

How does Superb get so much money every year?
There aren't enough pet projects around here

Can we please get down to business?
How much money is the Squelch getting next year?
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