Imagine my surprise when I see there's an article about the Squelch! party in the paper this morning.

The Squelch! Party unveiled its slate Wednesday night with a line of party veterans and a pledge to remove ASUC from the "collective uterus" of the student body.

"My uterus is already safe and you know, they don't really need to be there," said Rebecca Brown, a candidate for ASUC Executive Vice President.

Squelch!'s lineup includes Dan Freedman for ASUC president, David Duman for external vice president, Rebecca Brown for executive vice president, Matt Holohan for academic affairs vice president and Kevin Deenihan for student advocate.

The party has planned a campaign strategy that includes massaging voters, and tanning and parading on Sproul Plaza in costumes.

Brown said the ASUC can spend its time better by funding publications and student groups. The candidates will use coat hangers to dislodge the student government from the uterus, Brown added.

Another top issue for Squelch! candidates is removing the professor-student dating ban that was instated last year.

"I do have this one professor who is pretty hot," Duman said.

-Kim-Mai Cutler

...Interesting metaphor, Rebecca...

I guess Ms. Mai Cutler thinks I'm too cool to be called for comments these days.

Email This Post!