My letter to the Daily Cal:

Question: How will you improve on the job of the Student Advocate?

I will stop wasting time on the obviously guilty students and concentrate on winners. I will also push for Student Conduct Cases to be resolved by a fast-paced, no holds barred thumb war. I will also push for the right of students to have a lawyer conduct that thumb war. I will also supplement the Student Advocate's income by selling out whatever juicy gossip students tell us. And in order to get free representation, students must pass the Trial of Worthiness, a mile long obstacle course where students become the hunted. They must also pay $50.

I have a dream that when students think 'Student Advocate,' they think 'Better then Superman times a million plus the Flash' That students will have so much power Administrators will seek free representation against vastly powerful students.

What Qualities do you have that would make you a good Student Advocate?

I like to smile… I live to love and I love to live. I've got about 50 pounds on Dave Madan and could wrestle with the administration in a way he physically can't. And if they still argue with me, I'll just give them the Patented Deenihan Puppy Eyes

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