First Annual SQUELCH! Party Civil War Re-Enactment
Who: You! And all the friends that you will tell between now and Thursday.
What: A re-enacment of the Civil War. With squirt guns. It's BYOSG. Squirt guns can be obtained at a number of places around campus. [Hint to freshman, co-opers, and Greeks, send one person from your floor/house to make a squirt gun run.] Also, if you're NorCal wear blue, and if you're SoCal wear gray or tan. Other states dress according to how your state fought in the Civil War. All African-Americans should wear blue. Republicans, you're all on the Confederacy for this one. Tell Trent Lott I say hi!
Where: Memorial Glade
When: Thursday at 12:30. [If you're someone with a 12:30 class, don't be a fucking douche; just go to your class ten minutes late so you can partake in the battle. Also, if you're not going to vote for me because I just called you a "fucking douche", good, I don't want to be a senator anyway. I'm doing this for the fun of it, and the Civil War re-enactment is going to be fun.
Why: See above reference to fun. Weather forecast says sunny and warm, and SQUELCH! party will provide some water balloons. It's like a fun party and all the fun was invited. And the fun was nice enough to let you come too.
How: Um, see above, I guess. Also, pretend I said something witty here.

Leave a comment here if you have any questions. Also, I'll love you a lot if you (without breaking the bylaws) get this information out to as many people as possible.

Infrequently Asked Questions
Question: What should black Republicans wear?
Answer: They are traitors to their race, and are being asked not to particiapte. (Alternatively, "There are none!")Email This Post!