Dave has a more nuanced look at the Cal-Sexiness Index. So does PotatoChucker. Nuance level increasing!Email This Post!

PotatoChucker accepts Playboy's College Girl Sexiness Rankings-- and Cal's bottom slot-- without question. But I'm not so sure! Look at the top ten:

10. University of Georgia
9. East Carolina
8. University of Colorado
7. University of Alabama
6. Florida State
5. University of Arizona
4. University of Florida
3. UCLA
2. Arizona State
1. University of Texas

With the partial exception of UCLA, these schools have one thing in common: nothing but endless herds of white girls. What's more, these are largely the big boob-strawberry blonde types that Playboy has idolized for the past 40 years. Take a look at the judges panel: a long line of badly aging white guys.

So no wonder Cal comes off so badly. These men came to Berkeley, stared at a long line of Asian girls and thought 'small boobs,' then looked at Black girls and thought 'butt too big.' Whereas a more Cosmopolitan man would appreciate the details that define Asian beauty, Latino sexiness, etc.

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Here's an audio tape of Nader's talk at Cal, if you're interested.Email This Post!

Go the Exploratorium when you get the chance... lots of fun exhibits. Try and go in the late afternoon or early morning, when the crowds of kids are gone.

While there, use the TimeTracker exhibit, stationed on the upper right side below the Cafe. Its a sort of time-lapse photography demonstration, where the same scene can be viewed in 'real-time,' 'minutes,' 'hours.' Find the 'Crowd Scene' example; turns out it's a shot of our own Sproul Plaza-- and during the 2001 Elections Season! Four Senate candidates, holding signs, are walking around for the eternal amusement of the kids. It's difficult to make out who is who, but I'm 70% sure one of the candidates walking around is now-AAVP Tony Falcone during his original Senate campaign.

Unfortunately, the exhibit broke just as I was trying to look at the scene again. Mad props to anyone who goes there and gets confirmation!Email This Post!

It's early to judge the Gabriel Presidency, but I don't intend to let that stop me. Jesse was still putting together his list of projects for the year when I interviewed him in early July, so I was mainly treated to an overview of his administrative structure and objectives for the year. More will probably follow as he increases his detail level.

The other three Executives I've interviewed had remarkably little to say on their predecessors in the office. SAO Salam only mentioned Alex a few times. EVP Han only talked about Justin in terms of his Department of Student Group Services, which she was basically dismantling. AAVP Tony only talked briefly about Catherine in regards to Academic Senate. In contrast, Jesse has former President Adeyamo very much in mind; mementos of Wally's adventures and projects litter the office, and Mr. Gabriel often compared his own intentions to his predecessors'.

This shines most in organizational structure. Jesse's most innovative structural change is the institution of a Cabinet system composed of representatives from numerous offices. It will serve two purposes. The first is a talking shop and policy setting instrument for the entire ASUC, involving all Executives. The second, and most interesting one, is a coordinating office for cross-office projects. Considering the advocacy emphasis of this year's Executives, this becomes especially vital. An example would be a Cabinet meeting on advocacy to improve Student Services. Tony, Han, and Jimmy send their Senior Directors and Researchers, who can easily compare information and collaborate. There should be similar gains by coordinating Publicity and Research efforts.

Also structurally, Mr. Gabriel will focus the Office's efforts on a small number of important projects, rather then pushing in too many directions. All projects will fall under one of five areas, all with the general aim of community building. These include increasing ASUC involvement with students, examine self-segregation on campus, coordinating community service, advocacy to the Administration, and increasing Academic Advising.



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Jesse Gabriel has the dubious distinction of being the ASUC Politician in recent memory with the most mentions in the Heuristic Squelch. (Mentions under his own name, at least.) All of these are from the Small Text under the staff box.

May, 2001: 'We should've taken that guy's $20. All we had to do as print a line that says 'Jesse Gabriel is one of the best places to have sex on campus.' Cha-Ching! Pay up, dude. What a sad little bastard.'

September 2001: ' Jesse Gabriel still owes us $20. If we were him we sure wouldn't want an outstanding debt to such an influential publication.'

October 2001: 'Apparently now that Jesse Gabriel's paid us, we're supposed to say he's a man of his word. So he is, but good grief, do the demands ever stop with this arrogant bastard? I'm a man of my word too. My word is 'muster.' But I don't expect that to impress people.'

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From the Progressive Calendar:

CLAREMONT WORKERS FIRST MARCH
4:30 gather at Rockridge BART, 5pm March up College
Ave. to College and Ashby
Final Gathering at Oak Park on Domingo Ave

Many of you helped us win a fair contract at the Hilton last October, and have been fighting by our side to win justice at the Claremont. Now we are
uniting the struggle of over 1000 HERE Local 2850 Union members from the Claremont, the Holiday Inn-Bay Bridge, the Holiday Inn-Oakland, and the Oakland City Center Marriott who have been fighting for a new contract since LAST JULY! Hundreds of these workers have been without a contract for months and these companies are STILL offering ZERO cent, 2.5 cent, and 5 cent raises to workers who have been with them for years. Across the board, these hotels are proposing huge monthly co-payments up to approximately $300/month. This is a REPREHENSIBLE offer, and on August 1st we must stand together and march for workers rights.

I'll be there at the end of it, to see how many students are marching. (For a column concept.) See ya there.Email This Post!

So: interviewed Executive Vice-President Han Hong.

It's amazing how many people expect Han to fail, miserably. I hear it from Daily Cal people. I hear it from ASUC people. I hear it from Bloggers most especially, because they would love nothing better then to tear someone to shreds. I hear 'Drama Queen' and 'Can't handle the Senate.'

But this perception appears to be spun from nowhere in particular, an invention based on rumor and whispers. Except for one source: Han's website, an online journal. It's somewhere to get feelings out, think about the day, etc. But Ms. Hong horrified her fellow Executives by posting an extremely personal message on it, one she ended up removing. She also posted, in what seemed meanspirited to many, her reasons for not hiring a friend as her Chief of Staff.

The website needs to go. Someone will use it to hurt her. A former Daily Cal person urged me to repost her private musings and mock them. A fellow blogger groaned about missing his chance to. The Daily Cal and her political opponents read it, and they will use what she writes, without regret, to tear her apart. So Jesus, don't give them the chance.

The interview:

Went well. Ms. Hong has sensible plans, realistic ones, plans that are well-organized and eminently achievable. The ASUC Monthly will move online after the first issue, effectively ending the money-draining problem of that troubled publication. Ms. Hong will build on the framework of what Justin built with asuc.org, making the webmaster more accessible to the other offices and improving the speed of updating. A novel approach there: Han moved Bill-tracking from the EVP office to the Secretariat, a clever move.

Eshleman space allocation will be finished, probably, by the week before Welcome Week. The delays have been caused by trying to move BRIDGES, the minority recruitment group, into Eshleman Hall. Additional space will be created in a couple of ways. First, more storage space will be opened up in the basement of Eshleman, so groups who merely need a place to put stuff can be safely eased out of an actual office. (BCR/Patriot comes to mind.) Second, the seventh floor of Eshleman will be partitioned into three rooms: the banquet room, a lounge, and a conference room.

Speaking of lounges, the bottom floor of MLK should be renovated relatively soon into a lounge. Longer term space allocation plans: by 2003-2004 creating a 24 hour lounge on Northside and a 24 hour cafe for Finals week. Pressed her on plans for the Daily Cal's floor, but she didn't want to talk in advance of the August 4th meeting.

The Department of Student Group Services, Justin's Outreach initiative, is to be entirely revamped. Group outreach will be placed back onto the Senators, where it's supposed to be. Instead, DSGS will move into advocacy. First priority will be to revise the University Reservations system, a painful and costly experience for groups; renting Zellerbach or Pauley is extremely costly. Beyond that, perhaps a repeat of the successful student leader/faculty dinner, as well as helping the Greek community's outreach and philanthropy and creating an Interactive introduction to the ASUC on CD.

But then we start talking about the Senate, and my Warning bells are going off like little fireworks. Han is basing her plans on the expectation that partisanship will be low or nonexistant. Her reasoning: Independents are strong in this Senate, and they tend to avoid outright partisanship. Also, she intends to promote a interest/community-based approach that will favor helping groups over conflict-prone issues like ASUC reform and symbolic bills. With that in mind, Ms. Hong will try a 'tight-ship' approach, keeping close tabs on Senate projects and enforcing Parlimentary rules closely so as to speed up meetings. She'll also hold Senators to their mandated Student Group outreach and improve contacts between Senators outside of the Senate. She also promises Committee appointments based on merit and application strength.

My alarm bells are going off at this point because Partisanship is always high in the Senate. And this year there's five Cal-SERVE Senators, who have everything to gain by taking practical control of the Senate floor. Han is representing a hated party with little power on the floor, surrounded by 17 ambitious Senators with little to gain from sticking to their appointed groups. Not a huge problem if an angry floor is expected, but a larger one if it catches you by surprise.

Next: Jesse




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TO: Kappa Sigma Fraternity
FROM: Kevin Deenihan

ATTN Kappa Sig's,

It has come to the attention of Calstuff that members of your Fraternity enjoy sitting on the roof and chucking water balloons at pedestrians. Several of these balloons almost hit Calstuff Founder and Editor-in-Chief Kevin Deenihan. Mr. Deenihan, who was having a shitty day due to a pounding fucking headache, was walking innocently to the store to buy aspirin when the water balloon incident occurred. They then urged each other to 'hit that fucker,' as he walked away.

Be advised that Kappa Sigma will be on the Calstuff 'Shitlist' for the foreseeable future, as well as the Shitlist of associated Calstuff Properties (Daily Californian, Heuristic Squelch, Berkeley Political Review, Alpha Delta Phi Fraternity.)

Yrs,
-K

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DEVORA'S GONE!

Yes, the infamous Editor-in-Chief of the Daily Planet, source of endless jokes and the occasional libel action, has parted ways with Berkeley. No word yet on what the final straw was; misspelling Kriss Worthington's name for the thirtieth time? The Publishers actually read the paper? I'm confident Seven Days in the East Bay Express will have the inside scoop.

Berkeley's high and mighty seem glad to finally get the chance to savage her without fear of reprisal.

"I never really knew (Walker), but there have been some pretty dreadful editing errors on a regular basis. Someone must have decided it just wasn't acceptable," said Councilmember Polly Armstrong.

Kriss gets a wonderful quote in, for which he deserves cookies and ice cream.

"Daily Planet comments have been the subject of much comedy around town," Worthington said. "On top of spelling my name wrong, they've printed the same letter to the editor three times now. I believe in recycling, but they must have more letters than that."

Gifts to the Ms. Devora Walker Memorial Fund can be sent care of Andy Kats and Chris Worthington, 1453 Martine Luthar Kinge Bowlevard, Barkeley, USB.


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Calstuff Correspondant PT reports that the Daily Cal is still searching for a suitable Sex on Tuesday Columnist. Tough choice to make: who could possibly live up to the Standard set by the Nationally Famous Rachel Klein?

My advice for prospective writers would be to concentrate on the Romance aspect. Rachel always assumed that naked bodies were already writhing against each other; perhaps it's time for somebody who explores exactly how to get to that point. Email This Post!

In the Daily Planet today:

Councilmember Chris Worthington, who authored the 2000 ordinance...

It's KRISS! Jesus! Email This Post!

Interesting comments on the Berkeley Fair Trade Coffee Initiative. Jim Fung writes

Not every cafe will necessarily go for the cheapest kind of still-legal coffee. Consumer preferences also come into play ... one kind of coffee could sell better because it tastes better, for instance.

Also, owners may have an incentive to differentiate, to find their own niche ... one cafe could become known for sellng organic coffee, and another could specialize in fair-trade coffee.

Entirely true! I overstated my case in the example below. Nonetheless, I'm willing to bet that one of the three below will become favored over the others-- probably for reason of price.

Attorney General Mario De Bernardo (retired) writes

Fair trade coffee is a very important issue. South East Asian countries are selling coffee at price levels so low that Columbian farmers can't compete. Subsequently, these Columbian farmers are forced to grow opium in order to live above the subsistent level. Fair trade coffee will help keep Columbian farmers in the coffee business and prevent farmers from being forced into growing a drug crop that will end up in the streets of America. I don't know how the hell Berkeley plans on enforcing this new law, if it's passed, but I think it's a commendable effort on the part of the Berkeley left.

Turn this around: why should I support Columbian farmers at the expense of Vietnamese ones? Because they need the money more? Tell that to a destitute Vietnamese coffee farmer. Because Columbians will go into Opium farming? Drugs are a problem in Vietnam as well.

All in all, I can't find any reason to support Columbians over Vietnamese besides that Vietnamese do the job cheaper and are winning. Well, prices are lower from Vietnam because average income is lower; these are the more desperate people. And as hard-hearted as it seems, if Columbia cannot compete in brewing coffee then the best long-term decision is to get out of the industry. The only alternative is a long-term form of welfare that keeps them barely above destitution. That's what Berkeley wants to move towards.

The third option is what Shade Brewed and Organic are all about: using technology and sophisticated techniques to persuade Americans to pay a little more. And this approach gets the job done without punishing the Vietnamese for being poor.

Finally, Calstuff Correspondant Johnny writes

What happens to all the mass manufactured coffee drinks? Is the sale of certain bottled coffee drinks going to be prohibited?

Good question! I had figured they must get an exemption, but Rick Young brooks no challenge to his Coffees of Goodness. The Initiative restricts 'Brewed Coffee' sales to the Organic/ShadeGrown/Fair variety, and defines 'Brewed Coffee' as

"Brewed Coffee Beverage" shall mean all beverages brewed from coffee beans, including but not limited to café au lait, café mocha, caffè latte, cappuccino, and espresso beverages. "Brewed Coffee Beverage" shall not include dry coffee beans, either as whole beans or in ground form.

Looks like that Frappucino from Safeway is right out, doesn't it?

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Governor Davis is ordering President Atkinson to crack down on Anti-Semitism on UC Campuses. By that, he means 'Berkeley.'

In particular, Davis pointed to incidents at or near the University of California at Berkeley campus, including an attack on two Orthodox men, vandalism at the Hillel house, an illegal sit-in by pro-Palestinian demonstrators and a spate of anti-Semitic graffiti.

Note the last one: Rory's reporting gets results! Although as has been written here before, I wouldn't jump onto the 'Hate Crime' explanation for the Orthodox Jews attack without some more investigation.

Davis wants the usual spate of education/prevention/review, but note the final point on his plan.

a review of course descriptions to ensure “that they are forums for intellectual inquiry and not vehicles for discrimination, intimidation and hate.”

This could hardly be more pointed at Snehal's infamous Palestinian Resistance Class.

From a political standpoint, Davis is probably taking a few steps to staunch the negative publicity stemming from the attacks on Jews in the past year. In an election year, he doesn't need articles pointing out that the flagship of the California public education system is beating Jews on the streets, verbally and physically. There's also the matter of making Cal a safe place for all Nationalities, Creeds, etc. Email This Post!

CalWatch notes that the Ballot Propositions have now been posted on Berkeley's website. Going over the controversial Fair-Trade Coffee one, I noticed an interesting provision:

Every brewed coffee beverage sold or offered for sale by any business vendor in the City
of Berkeley shall be brewed solely from coffee beans that are either certified:
(1) Organic, or
(2) Fair-Trade, or
(3) Shade Grown, or
(4) a combination thereof.

But take careful note: you only have to be one! And if I'm a bitter Cafe owner forced to be ever-so socially responsible, I'm going to pick the cheapest one out there just to spit in Rick Young's face. So if this proposition passes, only one of these Mandatory Beans will become the standard in Berkeley: the cheapest one. So which is cheapest?

Fair-Trade is the easiest price to find out: they post it on their website. The minimum price is 1.26, but I found an article writing

TransFair, a nonprofit certifier of fair trade coffees, reports that it is currently paying to farming co-ops an average price of $1.26 per pound for conventionally grown coffee and $1.41 per pound for organically grown coffee.

Shade-Grown is a trickier price to find. Here's the criteria for it. Unlike the Fiat Price of the Economists down at TransFair, Shade-Grown acts on the 'Social Premium' principle. The idea is that rich-world consumers will pay more for socially responsible coffee, making the establishment of price floors unnecessary.

Organic Coffee is certified by the Department of Agriculture, unlike the previous two non-elected entities. It also works on the Social Premium idea, and is meant to keep Consumers free of mind-harming chemicals, pesticides, and genetic modifications.

So which will it be? All the more important because these three certifications work to different purposes. Organic is about consumer health, Shade-grown is about the Environment, and Fair-Trade about Coffee Farmer Incomes. Which is cheapest? Haven't found the data yet. A search on Yahoo for all three seemed to show Shade-grown as the cheapest available, but there's wide variations by region, etc. But one thing is certain: if this resolution passes, Berkeley's disgruntled coffee retailers will find the cheapest out there.


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Here's an idea: why doesn't the Daily Californian assign a Columnist strictly to the Berkeley Elections race. It's shaping up to be a good one, with Shirley and Tom set to battle to the death, along with a series of interesting Council races. The New York Times assigns Columnists to follow the Presidential race, and Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail could serve as an inspiration.

Go for it!

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The string of Editorial Writers today conclusively prove that the rise in Out-Of-State Tuition is politically cynical and horribly timed: pity the poor parent stuck with the extra bills having already committed to Cal.

But I don't see the evidence that this wasn't the best way available to balance the budget. A budget shortfall has to be dealt with one way or another, and perhaps the approach of stiffing a few out-of-towners and outreach programs is the best way to do it. The alternative would've been a general tuition increase, which would've raised even more hell.

Data we're not seeing: does out-of-state tuition exceed the cost paid by Californians, who pay in-state tuition plus taxes? How does their tuition compare to most out-of-state deals or private Universities? And most of all, what else could've happened to make up the deficit? Email This Post!

The Decision:

Hi Kenny,

I've been giving the matter careful thought, and decided to resign as Creative Editor for this year.

My thinking is that between Fraternity work, two math classes, and the Columnist job, there's no way I could give Squelch my full attention. Resigning will free up the position for Roommate Dave, who would be able to give it a full go. I'll revert to general writer/wellwisher.

Yrs,
-Kevin

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UC Berkeley School of Journalism will be teaching a class on News Blogging this fall. I'm sure they'll invite the Original Berkeley Blogger to speak. :)Email This Post!

Gone till Sunday night.Email This Post!

Attended the Greek Committee on Standards on Wednesday, a strange and uncomfortable experience.

To bring non-Greeks up to speed, Dean Kenney wants Fraternities to voluntarily adopt a body of Standards, or at least propose one, before she lifts the Alcohol Moratorium that's wreaking havoc on the Greek scene. This has instantly factionalized the Greek Community. On one side are the Fraternities, which see the Inter-Fraternity Council mostly as a way to keep insurance rates down. Either that or their National Organizations force them to join. Hence, they're more than a little reluctant to give IFC the power to enforce Standards on their individual chapters. Some Standards would include a mandatory level of Philanthropy, a minimum GPA average, etc.

On the other side are the Sororities, under their Pan-Hellenic Council. They're more than happy to delegate powers to the Council, and more then happy to create a body of Standards, especially since it's Fraternities that will have to bear the brunt of them.

I'm on the Fraternities side. So were the majority of the attendees. But it's clear the Administration is on the other side, especially since most other Universities have already successfully created a body of regulatory Standards.

I was placed on the Philanthropy, Academics, Pledge Education Committee, and argued all three for awhile.

Sorority Girl: 'We have to hold Fraternities to Philanthropy standards in order to create a good image of the Greek community. It's an embarassment that some Chapters try so hard to raise money for causes and others don't do anything.
Fraternity Boy: 'There's something fundamentally wrong with forced Volunteerism. I'm not interested in the 'Greek Community,' I'm interested in being a Brother of Alpha Delta Phi (or whatever). Hence, I have even less interest in being forced to support the Greek Image.'

Sorority Girl; 'Greeks have so many advantages in keeping a high GPA, like Exam Files and Study Nights, that it's only fair that we insist their House GPA be higher then the University Average.'
Fraternity Boy: 'There's wide variations in average GPA. A house full of Engineers will have to work twice as hard as a house full of Poli Sci majors; that hardly seems fair. And these 'Greek advantages' seem entirely anecdotal. You've no evidence that Greeks have any sort of competitive edge.'

Sorority Girl: 'What kind of stuff do Fraternities teach their Pledges?'
Fraternity Boy: 'How can that possibly be any of your business? So long as we don't haze, and we don't, what we teach Pledges goes firmly under 'Our Business,' not 'meddling Greek Council Business.'

And so forth, and so on.

If a compromise is going to emerge, it'll be a program based on open standards and incentives for good behavior. For instance: posting which Chapters did Philanthropy, how much they did, and rewarding them accordingly. This seems like the only way to avoid an unacceptable level of interference with Chapter autonomy while still promoting some sort of Community spirit. But first, the Sorority and Administration side have to stop reaching for a stick whenever a Fraternity Chapter doesn't hold up to their levels.

I'm not confident this will happen.

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First Draft submitted to the Squelch

Minor Hells

Everyone knows that Gluttons are torn apart by 'Cerberus's bloody teeth,' and the Violent boil in a River of Blood while being stabbed by centaurs. But what is Hell for the Barely Evil? Like people who think about putting in a new toilet roll and still don't do it. Or Hitler's Grandchildren. Or someone walking towards you while you're handing out Squelches, and makes eye contact while walking right towards you, but then blows by without taking his hand out of his pocket even though his non-verbal communication was shouting 'YES! I want a Squelch! Outstretch your white hand so that I may take one!'

These people go to Minor Hells, such as

THE HELL WHERE HAIR WILL NOT DRY

It's 55 degrees Farenheit… the humidity is sopping… and the towels just don't seem to work.

MIKE: Darn, my hair is still wet! I can't put headphones on!
SARAH: What, did you just get out of the shower?
MIKE: I did… THREE THOUSAND YEARS AGO.

THE HELL WHERE YOU CAN'T REMEMBER ANYONE'S NAME

MIKE: (On Phone) Hi, we met at..um… this guy's party… and I got your phone number… I'm not sure who you are… if you remember me, I'm the red-haired guy with glasses… my name is… uh…. crap.

THE HELL WHERE EVERYONE KNOWS YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND

MIKE: So then I say to myself, 'Mike'
LARA: Wait, you're Mike? Stacy's Mike?
MIKE: …Yes
LARA: Oh, then you're the guy with the… (Giggles) Wow. It's so weird that I'm actually meeting 'The Mike.'
MIKE: We're in Hell! No it's not!

THE HELL WHERE JESUS IS ALWAYS SECOND-GUESSING YOU

JESUS: So you know you're going to the ATM, but still don't bring those checks you have to get cashed. And then once you're at the bank, you find a check for $45 in your wallet, and decide to cash it even though it takes 20 minutes and you'll have to come back tomorrow with another check to cash….
MIKE: Jesus, stop it!
JESUS: Hey Mike, it's called 'Hell,' not 'Jesus shuts up Land.'

THE HELL WHERE YOU'RE COVERED IN OILS

MIKE: (Sobbing) I mean, I know she didn't mean it like that, but still…
JESSICA: (Tenderly) You poor guy, I think you need a hug…. Oh, GOD! You're covered in OIL!
MIKE: Yeah, well, I…
JESSICA: Now my clothes are ruined! Thanks a lot!
MIKE: (Sobs)

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Seven Days is, as usual, excellent this week. Two stories of note: the latest Planner to occupy that unhappy position in Berkeley's Bureaucracy has been stabbed more than enough. He's out, and the City is screwed unless they can find someone new,

assuming that someone can be found to endure the low pay, long hours, and endless battles with development gadflies and city commissioners that is the Berkeley planner's lot.

A more interesting story is how the Chron got the goods on the Ninov Scandal at the Lab. It appears the frightened laboratory tried to bury and hush up the story.

It's perhaps the most sensational case of scientific fraud in decades. The lab has fired Ninov, and the embattled researcher has filed a grievance against his former employers. But what business does a public research institute, which gobbles up billions in government funds, have in trying to hide the truth behind a legitimate matter of scientific inquiry? "We have to maintain the confidentiality of the individual," says lab spokesperson Ron Kolb. "Because it's a personnel issue, we have to tread more lightly. This issue cannot be adjudicated in the press."

That's bullshit and everyone knows it. It's a State agency, it's taxpayer money, and there's all sorts of laws saying the whole world has a right to know when internal fraud occurs. Unasked question: how much will this undermine the Lab's credibility in its endless disputes with Berkeley neighbors over the health effects of lab research? 'We can't talk about the burst of Tritium that gave testicular cancer to half of Berkeley,' Kolb said, 'This issue cannot be adjudicated in the press.'

Bah.Email This Post!

Another thing on the Bill below: sponsoring a tree would cost an unspecified amount, probably a buck or so. Proceeds will tentatively be donated to Heifer International.Email This Post!

A Prototype of the first Bill the Squelch! Party will be submitting to the ASUC Senate:

A Bill

In Support of Making Trees Cooler

Authored by: David Duman and Kevin Deenihan
Sponsored by: Senator XXXXXX XXXXXXX

Whereas, Berkeley's trees have fallen prey to the disease known as Sudden Oak Death.

Whereas, The treatment for this disease involves wrapping trees in aluminum and warning students not to touch them, making the trees feel like lepers or dorks.

Whereas, Many students are unaware of the ravages of this disease, unless they happen to read the Daily Cal once every semester or so.

Whereas, Much more should be done to improve Tree/Student relations, and improve awareness of the plight of Trees

Therefore, be it resolved that the ASUC Senate sponsor the 'Heuristic Squelch Tree Naming Initiative.'

Be it further resolved that the purpose of this Initiative will be to allow students to name their favorite trees on campus. A polaroid of the student standing next to their tree, along with a formal certificate of naming.

Be it further resolved that the two coolest, tallest trees on campus be named 'Kevin Deenihan Jr,' and 'David Duman Jr.'

Be it further resolved that the ASUC Senate allocate $150 from the Senate Contingency Fund to this Initiative.

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Mathiesen has a good column today.Email This Post!

Also of note in the Planet today: a feisty letter from Dona Spring challenger LA Wood promising a knock-down, drag out fight for the seat. A letter attacking Brother Liquor Store as dishonest is very well written, but responds to a letter published in a Planet issue in the middle of January. I guess editing takes awhile.Email This Post!

I'm not sure I'd call this account of Nader's visit to Berkeley 'Journalism,' but I'd definitely call it 'awesome.' Cynicism leaks from it.

Much of the call to civic duty was at the end of his speech and directed toward youth who were noticeably absent from the audience.

He reminded the audience, mostly Caucasian and over 30, that the social and political gains made in prior eras were no guarantee.

Not to mention a staple of these events, the Q-A period.

A planned question and answer session quickly became a chance for some in the audience to not necessarily ask Nader questions, but make extemporaneous speeches on various themes. Nader patiently waited for their points to be made and then commented on topics ranging from Cuba to Burma to political organizing.

Add in the constant, sly references to how long Nader has been going at his crusade, and the article quietly shapes the speech as a tired, behind the times burst of pointless nostalgia.Email This Post!

First Draft submitted to the Squelch:

Inside a Review Editorial Meeting
by Kevin Deenihan

SARAH: 'Okay, everybody, Erin is back from Wine and Cheese Palace so we can start the meeting. Ryan, please read the minutes from the last meeting.

RYAN: 'Okay, discussion of old business, 5 minutes spent assigning articles. Break to discuss Indie Rock in approving terms, although fearing for its musical soul in the face of increasing commercialism. Remaining three hours spent putting little injokes into the headline.

SARAH: Thank you, Ryan. New business: assigning articles. I understand Susan here wants to write about her first Lesbian experience with an Indian woman, so she'll be reviewing 'The Country Bears.'

SUSAN: Is it okay if I write it entirely in first-person Confessional style?

SARAH: Sure. How was the sex?

SUSAN: poor.

SARAH: Then we'll go with 'Bears fails to satisfy' as the headline. Mike, can you handle Music Reviews this week?

MIKE: Fuck Modern Music! Fuck Modern Music! Fuck Modern Music!

SARAH: Perfect. Also, here's the Obscure Words Bingo list this month. Fit five in a row into a sentence, and you win a badly copied bootleg tape of Thom Yorke humming 'Like a Virgin' ironically. Scott wins last month's prize of a Transformers robot with Bjorke's head for fitting 'Prurient, Lachrymose, Proletariat,' and 'jejune' in.

SCOTT: Thanks Sarah, but I gotta go. I'm interviewing an old but bright-eyed artist making an obscure comeback after several small mid-70's successes.

RYAN: (Mutters) Lucky.

SCOTT: (Teasing) Besides, Erin brought a '97 LaTour when everyone knows that the only '97 Merlots worth drinking came from Australia.

SARAH: And those were Shirazs! (General laughter)

ERIN: (Defensively, Angrily) Well, at least I'm not wearing Calvin Klein multi-weave white socks! You… POSER!

(Shocked Silence)

SARAH: (Softly) Lets not say things we can't take back.

ERIN: (Sobbing) I'm sorry.. I've just been under so much stress… my new Boyfriend keeps taking me to these wide-release movies and asking me if I like them. I tell him they're great, but inside I'm just crying. I'm just crying.

SARAH: (Hugs) I think we need to take a break. Good meeting, everybody.

SCOTT: Hey, we all wore Atari t-shirts again. That's so weird.

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Scientific Fraud at Lawrence-BerkeleyEmail This Post!

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Below are the Minutes of the working group on 'Improving the Greek System.' Amazing how quickly a single problem (Alcohol abuse) becomes an excuse to attempt to regulate and control every Chapter in the system. Mandated Volunteerism? Regulating the appearance of Chapter Houses?

Not only this, but this group is cheerful about Big Brother-esque measures to enforce their 'Community Standards.' Keeping records on which Chapter members attend Philanthropy events, keeping Chapters from 'getting around' Philanthropy by just 'writing a check.' And finally, note that while most of these recommendations are aimed at Fraternities, the people attending have little to do with Fraternity life.

The next meeting is on July 17th at 7:30 at the Channing/Bowditch office. Greeks should attend.

Work Group Minutes for July 2, 2002
Attendance:

Greg Smith, Christianne Harder, Ryan Mills, Tazvir Patel, Raman Bhatia, Harry Spitulnik, Ananda Clarke, Mina Nasseri, Sunny Woodward, Vanessa Totten, Samantha Millman, Jamison Miller

We had a brief brainstorm over different areas that the group thought to be the most pertinent issues for Standards. At our next meeting wed. July 10th we are going to be talking about other areas where standards apply, attempting to finalize a list. (Academics, Financial Accountability, Individual vs Chapter Accountability etc.) We will also discuss the consequences for failing to meet the standards and how this will address accountability. We will then proceed to address each area in detail. (We are also continuing to research other universities who have standard-like programs in place)

Fields of Interest- Philanthropy, Social, and Chapter Maintenance

1. Chapter House Maintenance was included in standards because many of the students feel that some chapters only perpetuate negative stereotypes by having poor property maintenance not only after parties, but year round. There must be:

1.. enforcement of city code and regulations
2.. deadlines and inspections by not only city officials but students
3.. standards for outside of the home
4.. included enforcement for after party clean-up
5.. enforcement, requiring the outside of all chapters reflect in a positive manner

2. Philanthropy was chosen as an aspect for standards due to the role it plays as a pillar for our community as well as in each of our organizations.

1.. The debate was over if there should be community standards or individual chapter standards for amount of philanthropy required.
2.. Possibility of requiring members to attend or participate in other chapters philanthropy
3.. There must be enforcement, by recording each chapters involvement but how and how feasible
Issues
-Historically some chapters have found different ways around philanthropy, such as just writing a check

-IFC/Pan. events in the past have had difficulty raising large turnouts.
a. IFC/Pan should provide opportunities to do philanthropy, but should not be holding chapters hands

Further debate needed

3. Parties need to be based on more than alcohol

1.. There is thought to be a mindset regarding alcohol, and it is under question if it can be changed (i.e. people go to parties to get drunk)
2.. Limit the number of parties in a weekend or able to happen on a particular day
3.. Require the planning of events to occur earlier
4.. Have a greater participation of Risk Management positions in the planning process.
5.. We have the proper regulations in place to conduct a safe event.
The problem is the lack of enforcement and by in by each individual chapter.
6.. Enforcement must have a strong enough effect to change minds when it comes to following the rules
Ideas about enforcement-


1. Standards should be a requirement of affiliation
2. Without abiding you should not be recognized as a Greek letter organization

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L&S has made a website that will apparently show open classes. Could be useful.Email This Post!

I dislike writers who think it's the coolest thing in the world to write some sort of 'Rant Article' where they're entirely pissed at something AND THE PUBLIC MUST KNOW. Because, ooh, anger is so artsy. Also, they use the word 'Fuck' a lot, because it's rebellious and shit. They also say 'shit.' Specifically, 11 times for 'shit' and 14 times for 'fuck' or 'fucking.' And they call the readers 'fuckheads.'

Number one: this is about terrorism. An enemy comes from the underground and destroys the great Western metropolises. Their motives are unclear, their tactics wily. More to point, they fly through the air, full of fuel, leveling skyscrapers. Ahem, do you get it? The movie makes sure you do. Jerk. By the way, it turns out that there's only one male dragon (oops, spoiler! Sorry!) that fertilizes all the female eggs, and if they can just kill that one dragon, they can restore the world order to its proper balance. Do we have to name names? Is it clear what this is about? Okay, good.

Does REview have any Editors with a basic understanding of the movie industry? This movie was not written in the aftermath of September 11th; movies have a development time of at least two years, especially when they're special effects heavy Summer flicks. The script for this was written in August of 2000! I just had to read 200 words criticizing a movie for a subtext that exists only within the writer's own (angry) head. No, wait, 400 words! He spend the paragraph prior preparing the reader for his brilliant realization that this movie is another part of the War On Terror.

There's other ways to look at this movie. As a heavy shitty movie, it wants badly for you to understand the symbols it throws your way. As young intellectuals we are trained to see material in terms of symbology: the author uses this to say this, this thing means this idea, blah blah blah. Good authors and directors never bother with that shit. It's simplistic—logical rather than expressive. No decent director would ever constrain themselves to the symbol game. They play games of tone, of errata, of mystery. But "Reign of Fire" is a shitty movie with boring ambitions, and so it is quite happy to blast bullshit your way and let you, you stupid fuck, be all, "oh yes, I understand this, I'm very very smart."

What is there to say about such a major factual screwup like this? Ask REview to run a correction? Watch 'Reign of Fire' in way of apology for silly, pretentious Daily Cal writers? What to do?



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Salar writes his 'Shirts' column today, almost one year to the day Mr. Dev Chatterji penned a column reporting

That was when I looked down at the well-knit Tommy Hilfigers and then at Allison and had an epiphany—women are a lot like shirts.

The 'Shirts' column is still, in my mind, one of the worst things a guy could ever write. All across campus, I imagine girls reading it and writing in 'Dev' on their 'People never to have sex with' list, then underlining it several times.

Nonetheless, Mr. Jahedi has outdone him.

So Ronnie's idea (he has sworn me to secrecy about this) is that the market for dating could be made much more efficient if we introduced B's (patent pending). If a girl happens to be in a committed relationship, then she should have the letter B stamped onto her forehead.

There's nothing wrong with a fair bit of Mysogny in an intended humor piece, so long as you follow a couple of rules. 1) The Mysogny doesn't require mutilation of women's bodies and B) It's funny. Both of these are broken repeatedly.

I began to see the depth of his argument. Because a girl's forehead is smaller, the B's could be made proportionally small and hence less expensive. And because of the way many women like to beautify, the B can be marketed on a grand scale.

Also

Because of this, the information gap is diminished, and everyone is again better off. This lets women know early in the relationship whether their guy is of a non commitment mentality while allowing guys to sleep happy knowing their girl is wearing a B for them.

So, to summarize, Salar has taken a rather gross idea, IE facial mutilation, assumed that because it's outrageous it must be hilarious, then BANGED THE CONCEPT INTO THE GROUND for the remainder of his 700 words. Argh! Bad!

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Someone searched for "Kevin Deenihan" Berkeley threats in Google and ended up here.

That's kind of spooky.Email This Post!

Interesting discussion on People's Park on Indybay. The gist: there's an ongoing struggle between the Activist/Leftist types who love the park as an expression of freedom and idealism, and the Crack Cocaine types who love the park as a place to get High. The latter are winning.

I want to tear People's Park down and build beautiful, beautiful Housing, of course. It's a numerical cost/benefits thing, I figure. If we build housing, we'll have living space for thousands of my fellow students, many of whom will go on to make Cal a more wonderful thing. It may clean Telegraph up somewhat. The cost to this new housing will be losing a park that no students ever use.

The Park has only two values: Nostalgic value, which has little relevance to anybody under 30, and a metaphoric power center for Activism. The latter is the main reason its removal would be bitterly fought: it's a center of strength for a large part of the Bay Area. A totem. A symbol. A living place of a certain ideology that encapsulates the Cause.

But all I can see is a rundown park with 'Cocaine Queens' accerbating crime in my town and perpetuating a housing crisis.


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MotherJones covers the Chapela Corn Controversy. They don't add anything to it, merely rehashing the reporting done by the Daily Cal and East Bay Weekly that traces the allegiances of the two sides.Email This Post!

Time for another Blast from the Past. This is the poem written by Senator Richard Schulman, Greatest Human Being Alive, during Spring Semester of 2001. It's a little out of date, referring to the election campaign of Cutter W and Co among other old things, but the meter and verse work is brilliant.

An Ode to Love

by Richard D. Schulman, Greatest Human Being Alive

Oh Student Action, How I love Thee
Party which does my thinking for me
If they disagree with something I do
They'll send Chris Gray to turn me to glue
What was that? A Jew?
Not in this party, not even a few.

From out of the masses of the Coalition we grew
Forming the same corrupt party machine a new
Corrupt and elitist, but students still vote
Which caused this rhyme Schulman has wrote
New signatory of the SA student group
Because Sabet was kept out of the loop

Now they run Wally for Chief,
Hope he will lose, time to turn over a new leaf
Josh has been loyal, time for his pay
Who for external, him. Fryday!
For Exec. Justin Christensen will run
With an Asian woman, their slate will be DONE!

Jenn was forced out, Evora was revenge
Gray told me what to do, making me cringe.
Stay silent, he said, and get slated for senate
Sell my soul for office? I thought, and accepted that Minute.
What better party to run with like this.
For executive office and senate, can't miss.

Time for elections and breaking of rules.
Keeping to by-laws, hah, only for fools (and the Squelch! Party)
Chalking the sidewalk for all hours of night.
Listening to what gray says is right.
Holding signs on sproul simply is dandy.
Who cares about issues when we have free candy.
If candy and smiles don't suffice,
What else for the voters? Something thats nice.
Skimpy tank tops, and breasts pushed up high
Voters hands running all over her thighs

Finally the counting of ballots to see
If gimmicks tricked people into voting for me.
It seems she won again, the singing Ms. Liu
Look who else won, my buddy Hoku.
Finally its done, the counting is over.
I have won, time to thank my four leaf clover

I'll through the summer I sat and I waited
Desires to do good grew unabated.
Senate begins and so does the bickering
I look over and see Schulman snickering.
Boy he would make a great leader.
But he's waiting a year, so dont forget about him.

I stick to my morals and vote how i please
Until that one day, Gray brings me to my knees.
EAVP - I never could see.
Run for executive office? Me!?

Time to vote in blocks
Gray has a leash around our cocks (sorry)
Never for a minute did I ever doubt.
That student service is what we're about.
Fuck that Joe Henchmen
Papas says he's a lout.
Student service, it seems, was never defined.
Exactly what students did we have in mind?
Ourselves, for it seems that we're students, by golly
Except for Cara, and Rex and Wally.

Service to ourselves, no one better at it.
To be fair, we help others too, if only a bit.
Let me end this rhyme with something you've heard of.
A song of passion and service and love
Perverted by power and winning and glory.
That caused our core to become so whorry.

I pledge alleigance to Student Action
That I will not side with any other faction.
Nor will I put any plan into traction
That offers real reform and satisfaction
We will stick together against all odds.
Behind us Sabet and Gray and their cattle prods.
To the grave I take the secrets I know.
Or out from the party, back to Theta I go.
If ever I question how I am led
A copy of Cal-FACTS will be thrown at my head.

The poem, oh how its course has run.
The real thing I have learned, though its probably no stun
Its words that speak louder than actions.
With that, this poem is Done!

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Party!Email This Post!

I'm a big Seven Days fan, especially for the ocassional blasts from the past:

Reddy or not: We at 7 Days certainly miss the days when we had Hans Hagen to kick around. Berkeleyans, of course, will remember the late landlord as the kooky German who tried to circumvent rent control by declaring his apartment building a church with "followers" who paid to live there. Some of the features of the sex-obsessed Sebastian Kneipp Water Church included a statue of a phallus atop his apartment building that cleverly employed a garden hose to simulate ejaculation, and a copulation chamber where one was encouraged to sing "California Here I Come" while completing the deed. Hagen so detested rent control regulators that one time he got down on all fours and bleated like a goat when a hearing examiner inspected the property. Hagen kept the Rent Board tied up in administrative appeals and litigation for more than a decade. Ah, good times, good times.

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Another Berkeley Suicide goes unnoticed.Email This Post!

The Official Store Operations Board meeting to decide the Daily Cal's fate should be today... but has been postponed. Still, a good opportunity to size up the situation.

Part of this is rumor, keep in mind, but my sources are fairly good.

The Store Operations Board and the ASUC have no real interest in kicking the Daily Cal out of their offices. The original drive to kick them out was led by ASUC Officers with a personal feud against the Daily Cal. (With good reason, it appears! More on this in a few weeks.) Their Successors are more interested in finding a sane relationship with the Daily Cal then going to war, especially since they have better things to do then fight the Paper. Nor are they interested in losing the rent the Daily Cal pays.

But this isn't over yet. It appears the position of the SOB will be that the Daily Cal should give up part of the sixth floor to Student Groups. Not an extreme amount, but around three-four. This is probably a moderate position: there are rooms that the Daily Cal aren't using fully, and Student Groups can use the space. However, the Daily Cal (I think!) has dug in their heels about giving any up.

The Daily Cal also refused to open their books to the SOB people, which is a major sticking point. After all: it's tough to ascertain how much rent they could pay when the books are closed. It's also possible that outsiders would discover massive accounting problems: the Daily Cal's financial department is an open joke in the ASUC. Bills are sent late, for the wrong amounts, and have all sorts of stupid problems.

Another interesting story is the reason why the meeting is canceled, but it's too gossipy for this space. Email This Post!

KEVIN-CENTRIC POLL!

Where the readers decide the course of my life...

It's come to the attention of Calstuff's staff that Founder and Leader Kevin Deenihan is hopelessly overextended for this coming Fall. A list of his roles on campus:

1. Calstuff Operator
2. Creative Editor for the Heuristic Squelch (Decides what goes in Squelch; rewrites as necessary)
3. International Editor for the Berkeley Political Review (Edit team of 5... 2 articles a semester)
4. Columnist for the Daily Californian
5. Parking Manager for ADPhi
6. Rush Chair for ADPhi

He's also taking 2 vastly hard math classes that he needs A's in.

This is obviously insane. So your job, as intelligent people, is to choose which two activities I should drop for the Fall. Numbers 5 and 6 are non-negotiable. The rest, hypothetically, are. Post your choices in my 'Comments' thing.

Next reader poll: should Kevin tattoo his butt with 'Calstuff rocks?' The readers decide!

NOTE: The comments box is above, not below.Email This Post!

The NY Times writes a smug, condescending article about the oh-so-overthetop Fair Trade Coffee Initiative.... and is right to do so!

It's a skillful putdown of an article, following a pattern of Rick Young making a seemingly innocous statement, followed by a quote pointing out that that comment is either utterly ignorant or fascism in disguise.

"We are very excited that the ballot initiative is gaining so much momentum," said Kenya Lewis, the public relations manager.

"Fair Trade certified coffee is such an easy way for any coffee drinker to effect change on critical global issues such as immigration, starvation, drug trade and the environment — and more immediately, it really offers a simply way to make a real and measurable difference in the lives of farmers."

Followed by the Mayor's

"But how can we enforce such a law?" she said, in a city with more than 300 establishments that would be affected. "How will we tell which coffee is certified? You can't do a taste test. What would this law mean for our business inspectors? How do you balance the socially responsible against the practical?"

and

"The proposal seems fascist," said Darryl Ross, owner of several cafes, including one, across from the law school at Berkeley, which serves only Fair Trade coffee.

"No business wants to be forced to carry a specific brand," said Mr. Ross, who remembered when Mr. Young as a student, threatened a boycott of his cafe if he did not go the Fair Trade-only route. That worked, but Mr. Ross said few people seem to think the initiative is a good idea.

Mr. Ross appears to be the owner of Strada, BTW.

I hadn't known this, but apparently the Initiative made CNN as well.

This is the great despair of Columnists trying to find a new angle on Berkeley. There are only four stories in the entire town. Everything falls under some combination of 1) Progressives vs. Moderates, 2) Neighborhoods vs. Developers, 3) Everyone vs. University and 4) Berkeley embarasses self before Nation.

And all that nonsense gets tedious.

UPDATE: Shoot, this has been on all sorts of news outlets. How depressing. LA Times, SF Chron, MSNBC, Fox News...Email This Post!

Who knew? A Chain Fast Food store has managed to sneak in under the City's watchful radar and establish itself RIGHT ACROSS FROM CAMPUS. On Telegraph, no less!

The perpetrator? Subway. They've snuck in a counter full of Subway goodness, along with bonafide uniformed Subway employees, into C'est Cafe, at the corner of Bancroft and Telegraph.

They managed this, unlike most chain stores, by not attempting any design changes to the exterior C'est Cafe facade, which would get them entangled in the frosty Design Review Committee. Nor have they taken over the building: C'est Cafe still serves the usual coffeehouse blend of espresso and light pastries-- only now also with mediocre subs.

Next: McDonalds sneaks into Strada... KFC sneaks chicken out of a hidden bag.... Burger King changes name to Burger Proletariat and sets up shop in ISO's office... etc...Email This Post!

The East Bay Express does a good investigative Internet reporting piece on the crackpot owner of berkeleyboycott.com Email This Post!

'Hey Mark, want to play some basketball in Berkeley High's Gym?
'Sure, Steve. Just let me open the doors here... Wha....?'

'ARGGH!!!'Email This Post!

Rescued from the depths of time... Bret Heilig's February 23rd, 2001 submission to the Heuristic Squelch.

ASUC What-they-say vs. What-they-mean
By Bret Heilig

Action Speaks Louder Than Words
I favor a military solution over a diplomatic one

This is offensive
Sweet minority voters, how brightly thy faces shine under yonder moon...

We are so close to reversing the ban on Affirmative Action
Please give me $10,000

We expect this project to have a major impact on students' lives
I want my own office

I second the motion
Does that count as partisan outreach?

APPLE
All the non-stupid party names were taken by Chris Gray.

Why do you think you are qualified to be the Elections Chair?
Clearly, you are retarded

The Judicial Council is usurping the Senate
I have a friend who is a political science major

Your proposal is interesting
I will vote against your proposal with every fiber of my being

I abstain
No one has told me how to vote yet

You should run for office
With another party

It is the other party that is responsible for the gridlock
I have completely lost touch with reality

How does Superb get so much money every year?
There aren't enough pet projects around here

Can we please get down to business?
How much money is the Squelch getting next year?
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It's Salar Day.

I sent the link to his latest column to a completely wasted and sleepy Praglib at 2:30 last night. Praglib was still able to find several factual errors and major Economic fallacies. We agreed to divvy up the debunking duties: I'd criticize Salar's style, Dave would criticize content. But I'm gonna take on his Economics again as well.

A mere 148 words in, we get to his topic sentence.

President Bush decided to send an even stronger message out to the younger generation. Last year, he signed a bill enforcing the Drug-Free Provision of the Higher Education Act, saying that those who are caught smoking up will be denied federal aid for school.

Quelle stylistic nightmare! Bush did not sign a bill 'enforcing' the Act, he signed a bill 'legalizing' the Act or 'approving' the Act. He couldn't 'enforce' the Act because the Act was not an Act before he signed it.

Econ Stuff:

See, the government uses tax dollars to provide services for society. One of these services is to help educate those who cannot afford to educate themselves. Another service is to fight the war against drugs. If the government were to tackle these problems individually, it would need more resources (pronounced "charge higher taxes").

By bundling its responsibilities, the government can attempt to kill two birds with one stone. It can provide education to the poor while simultaneously stopping kids from using drugs.

Leaving aside the amazing level of condescension towards his fellow Berkeley students, this argument doesn't work. Why should combining services lead to gains in efficiency? It may be possible that in this instance that's true, but I can think of many instances where combining services led to a dropoff in efficiency and an increase in needed resources.

It's also a faulty theoretical argument. Contemporary thought is that addressing a social problem should be tackled head on, not by side-methods, because those lead to unforeseen consequences. The classic example is using Tarriffs to protect domestic industry. It might have some effect, but it would be far better to be direct and subsidize those industries. Using an indirect method like tarriffs leads to unexpected outcomes like corruption. In this instance, using FAFSA to fight the Drug War will lead to a corruption of FAFSA's mission: to provide scholarships. Far better to take on drugs directly rather then spoiling scholarships.

The Drug-Free Provision also provides one last benefit I have failed to mention. College has become almost a given after high school. With many students not even considering forgoing college, there will soon be a lack of low-paid, high labor workers.

This could spell trouble for our economy. Who will do the more menial jobs in society? Might as well be the druggies.

What? The problem in the USA is a GLUT of menial laborers, not a lack of them. We have this thing in America called 'high levels of immigration' that ensure a steady flow of low-skill workers, along with a far lower college entrance rate that Mr. Jahedi seems to see. Most economists bemoan the lack of college graduates, or at least those trained in useful skills like Science and Math. They also worry that the glut of low-skill workers is what's been That's why the US is so happy to import high-skill workers from other countries, and why Economists worry that the surplus of menial labor is keeping their wages too low.

Hmph!


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True stories of Berkeley Police.

It's 10:30 and Calstuff is shooting the breeze with Andy Katz outside of Blockbuster on Telegraph. Then, across the street from Blake's, there's a massive BOOM and a burst of light. All the alarms on the block go off and Telegraph fills briefly with smoke. Presumably this is from a firework, but we're not sure.

About 3 minutes later, a Berkeley Police van comes roaring in and parks in a red zone around the block from where the firework went off. 'Ah-ha,' we think, 'Berkeley Police are here to stop DANGEROUS EXPLOSIONS from being lit on major streets.'

Instead, the policeman gets out, jogs into Blockbuster, and rents 'Analyze This' on DVD. Then he leaves.

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Interviewed new AAVP Tony Falcone yesterday.

The pre-interview was far more disturbing to me then the actual interview. President Gabriel was talking some minor tidbits of ASUC gossip, only to be stopped twice by nervous ASUC people worried that 'the Daily Cal guy' (me) will somehow use this information for DOOM. Which makes no sense to me: if I hear anything interesting, it's going on Calstuff. As far as I'm concerned, the Daily Cal can find it there like everybody else. But I guess I'm Enemy now.

Tony was impressive, no question about it. His performance in office should, if all goes well, definitively silence the 'He should've been External VP' voices. Mr. Falcone has bigger plans then being External. His plan is to take the high professionalism and expertise of the External office, coupled with his extensive Administration contacts, and tie it with Academic's potential for actually affecting Academic policy. If correctly executed, it's a truly revolutionary shift that'll make AAVP a heavyweight in Berkeley affairs.

Let me elaborate on that potential. Academic Affairs deals with Academic Policy and Services. Unlike the three other Executive positions, it has several institutionalized methods for affecting the University: mainly the Academic Senate, but also several Committee appointments the AAVP gets. Add to that Mr. Falcone's personal ties to important Administration figures. Imagine now that the Student Academic Senate members are well-trained, motivated, and coordinated, backed up by a team of policy researchers and a supportive Senate.

The result should give AA the power to affect numerous key areas of academic life that no student could ever touch before. Examples include the Advising services, how Financial Aid is distributed, how Impacted classes like Business 10 are handled, and how many Units are allocated to classes. Y'know, big stuff. And this is only his planned 'Advocacy' wing. Tony also intends to expand and integrate the more traditional Projects into the University. Perhaps someday, when checking grades at BearFacts, you'll have an opportunity to rate your Professor for CalFACTS.

Administrative-wise, Mr. Falcone seems to favor a more traditional hierarchy over a Wally-esque 'informal teams' method.

Several pitfalls for enterprising other parties to look for: almost everything Mr. Falcone intends to do depends on University cooperation. At the present he has no reason to worry about obtaining it, but if he pushes for too much too quickly the slow University bureaucracy could get skittish. Also, Administrators have good reason to doubt that this AAVP will be the one to create some sort of Continuity, and therefore balk at more ambitious multi-year plans. It'll also be interesting to see if his plans overlap with those of External or OP: Tony is interested in affecting the University's Long Range Plan, something External would also want to be involved in.

But overall, an interesting and ambitious start for the AAVP office this year. Will be fun to watch how it turns out.

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I'm gonna try and bring a camera to this, if it does in fact happen.Email This Post!

It may be the 'Shady Cal' to some or hopelessly Left-wing to others, but the Daily Cal Sports Page always stands out as damn fine reporting and writing.

I'd forgotten the back story behind the Rules Infractions. The way Cal published a pathetic 'self-examination' that concluded 'Cal is completely innocent and is cool' burns me up.

The Daily Cal puts together the long list of stupid moves on Berkeley's part.Email This Post!

The Planet runs a rather clueless article by the Associated Press about Barbara Lee's cult status on the Left.

After listing how she's been honored by the exact people you'd expect: Santa Cruz, Oregon, etc, the reporter makes one of this week's most irrelevant comparisons

The most admired people in the United States these days are George and Laura Bush, Colin Powell and Rudolph Giuliani, according to a CNN-USA Today-Gallup poll. Lee didn’t even make the top 20 women’s list, which included Madonna and Christine Whitman.

The poll of 1,019 adults was taken in December and has an error margin of plus or minus three percentage points.

ARgh.

And in search of a 'Lee's star is rising' quote, the reporter mischaracterizes Mr. Udinsky's Congressional run against her

Jerald Udinsky, a Republican financial economist who is running against Lee for her Congressional seat this fall, said Lee’s anti-war vote was what motivated him to challenge her.

“I was outraged,” he said, “that she didn’t support America defending itself from a direct attack.”

Udinsky wasn't motivated to run against her because of the Anti-War vote. He's running against her because he's a bonafide crackpot with the political acumen of Yoshua. At the Ward Connerly dinner, during Q and A time, he rose to deliver an impassioned three minute tirade on everything that pissed him off. That, at one stroke, alienated every Republican Berkeley student hoping to ask a question of Connerly, or at least hear him speak.

The article does end with a great quote.

“There’s a lot of people who think President Bush is a hero, but he’s not my hero,” said Carolyn Bninski at the Boulder, Colo.-based Rocky Mountain Peace and Justice Center. “Barbara Lee has a lot of courage. She listened to her inner voice and took a stand against what the popular culture was promoting. Now that’s heroic.”

'If popular culture is for it, it's heroic to be against it!' Such a great syllogism. Instead of mindlessly following the pack, it's much better to mindlessly run against it.

'David Duke is my hero. He listened to his inner voice and took a stand against what the popular culture was promoting. Now that's heroic.'

ARghhh
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This is what America is all about. It's a beautiful country with beautiful people.Email This Post!